Goodbyes are never easy or fun and I am not very good at them.  Tomorrow we will say goodbye to the little baby boy who has been a part of our family for the past 3 months. The little boy who I had the privilege of bringing home from the hospital and loving and taking care of him as he battled through some tough days in the beginning of his life. Goodbyes are a part of fostering and even though you never know if the goodbye is imminent or in the distant future it doesn’t make it any easier or less painful. But this goodbye is new kind for my husband and I to navigate. In our years of fostering we have never had to say goodbye to a baby while parenting our own children.

We knew when we said yes to this little guy that it was really going to an experience- how our kids would react to him? How would they handle saying goodbye when the time came? How would we juggle 4 kids 4 and under? We had concerns how our baby girl would do with not being the baby anymore; would she be jealous or would she love him? And thankfully since the moment we brought him home from the hospital she has loved on him and really took on the roll of a big sister so proudly which shocked my husband and I (and many of our close friends and family who know her). Our older two kids have absolutely loved having him especially my son who affectionately lets everyone know that he is the baby’s favourite since they are both boys.

As we have been transition baby boy over the past couple weeks to move to his grandparents there have been some over night visits which has left my older two very aware that their time with him was coming to an end and they have been very sad about this. We have been completely open and honest with them (at an age appropriate level) since day one letting them know that this little baby wasn’t our baby that he would be with us for awhile exactly how long we didn’t know but that we would just love on him for every minute he was with us and they have done that over and above what I thought they were capable of.  When we got the court date (which is tomorrow) I let our “big” kids know and so we sat down with the calendar and showed them so they knew exactly what was going to take place. There were tears and questions. My oldest asked “But why does he have to go to his grandparents we are doing such a good job taking care of him.” My son cried and said “Mommy I don’t want him to go! I still love him.” I explained to both of them (with the biggest lump in my throat) that we are/did do a great job taking care of him but our job was to love on him while he needed us and until his grandparents where ready to be able to love and take care of him and they are ready to do that now and its ok to be sad and to not want him to go. It is ok to love him even when he is gone and that their will be another little baby that will need us to love on them.

Has this placement been hard? Heck yes!! Very hard – I have never taken care of a baby that has been this sick and has had such a rough start at life but boy has he been worth it. He is truly the sweetest little guy with a smile that just melts your heart! I have washed up the few things that we want to send with him tomorrow and we are spending our time soaking up his snuggles (we practically have to set a timer so that everyone gets equal time because he’s affectionately being fought over). As we say our finale goodbyes tomorrow and give him one last hug and kiss we will let him go and with him he will take a piece of each of our hearts.  Baby Z you were loved, you are loved and you will always be loved by your Spinks Family! We will cherish all the pictures we have of him to remember our time with him and I know that he not only has left an impact on my life and heart but he has on my kids as well and I think they are all the better for it!

 

8 Comments

  • Sally Doersam says:

    Katie…I know tomorrow will be heart wrenching for you and all the family. My heart aches for all of you but I want you to remember what a good thing you all did. Not everyone can step up to the plate and do this. I love you for doing this and will be thinking of all of you tomorrow. Thank you for helping this little guy have a better start to life.

  • Meghan Luis says:

    Spink Family, you are angels. Truly the most kindest family to welcome such a beautiful little baby that needed your help. As I wipe my tears from this story, I just want to say God Bless you all and this little guy. Xoxo

  • Pat says:

    Oh my Katie. I am praying your you and your family as you transition this precious bundle to another family. You are a very strong women. Your dad must be very proud of you and Tom. Hugs hon, miss u.

  • Marilyn Nugent says:

    Thank you for having the courage to foster this way. So proud of you and the mommy you are. I will be praying for all 6 of you as you get through tomorrow and for the 5 of you as you look expectantly toward the next little ones you will bless. Hugs.

  • Nicole Jarvis says:

    Katie
    My husband and I were blessed with 3 amazing children through adoption, they are all full siblings and incredible! Without wonderful giving foster parents like you they wouldn’t have had a safe harbour to rest in while they waited for their forever family. Thank you so much for everything you do!!!
    Sending lots of love on what must be a very happy/heart wrenching full of love day!!!

  • Marilyn Jones says:

    What a beautiful gift of love you and your whole family has given this little one! May God be with you as you hand over this precious bundle to his grandparents. What an amazing ministry you have to foster children!
    Much love, MJ

  • Sue Balfour says:

    God bless you all with His peace and joy as you travel this difficult path Katie.

  • Kyleen says:

    Wow. I can’t really imagine the beauty and the pain that would come with fostering a baby. Thanks for opening up your home to give those babies a healthy, loving, and nurturing start to life. They are so blessed. Thanks for your honesty. Praying for you and the kids.

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