I am not one to really make new years resolutions. I feel too much pressure to keep them and than disappointment and failure when I don’t succeed and frankly I don’t need those feelings of inadquency and failure in my life simply as a resolute of a silly resolution I make. Life is already hard enough like this post for instance has been in the works for about a week now but life has just been too busy! Kids just going stir crazy with this silly winter cold and rain weather, a baby who needs her mama 24/7 (yes at almost 18 months old she still behaves like a newborn needing her mama’s arms), a house to clean, bills to pay, meals to cook, clothes to wash/fold/putaway and some how keep myself from going crazy from all the craziness. I was all set in Decemeber to make myself some new goals for 2017 because I think its fun to make some goals and work towards them in 2017 and see how far you come but January 1 came and I was like “gosh darn it I don’t even know where to start…what DO I want to accomplish this year?” I started thinking and I just kept coming back to this feeling of so many dreams in my heart and mind but no energy to accomplish them. I than remember back to our struggle to get pregnant and have a family and how in those dark, lonely, scary days I couldn’t even find it in myself to do much but to try and find something to give me strength and for me the way I did that was by finding a word that gave me comfort and strength when I needed it. That word was HOPE and I think I have shared this before but that word became a life line for me and when I felt myself spiralling downward I just held onto hope. (There is a reason my oldests daughters middle name is Hope) So I thought to myself “Kate you don’t need to worry about making a list of dreams for 2017 why don’t you just find yourself a word”.  Finding a word is much simpler anyways …right? So I came up with the word Self- Grace! It’s a good one right?! Ok Ok so if you don’t know what self grace is let me try and explain. (I may have made the word up in my head) Self grace is the idea of letting yourself be YOU. It is allowing yourself to feel what you feel, and recognize what brought you to this point and truly believing whatever your going through is valid. I want this year to smother myself in self grace. I don’t fully know yet what that will look like but it will definitely mean making more time for myself, it will mean stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things, it will mean being ok with ordering pizza on the nights I don’t feel like cooking and being totally ok with that choice, it will mean letting myself go to bed early without finishing that last load of laundry or that half finished blog post. I think you get the idea… I encourage you mama’s out there to practice some self grace even today! It doesn’t come naturally to me I have totally become ok with putting myself and my needs last but I am realizing I need to make me a priority as well if I want to be a kick ass wife and a rock star mommy I gotta make sure Im in a good head space and emotionally spent and exhaustion lead to physical ailments so I need to keep practicing this self grace and I am excited for what it will do for me!

 

*Sorry if this was like major word vomit I just have been feeling a lot of weight on myself and felt like writing/typing it out might help me feel better about it*

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  • Long weekend spent doing errands and packing - sore throat, full ears and a headache making this girl frustrated - sleep they say!?! And I say I wish but when your a mama to 4 and moving in just days sleep will have to wait! Thankful for medicine, @starbuckscanada and the fact we get to move to our new house so soon! Perspective changes everything - can’t change how I feel but I can change my focus!
  • Cold wet morning and early specialist appointment where they told me I had to wear loose fitting clothes- track suit it is! #monday #letsdothis
  • The privilege and blessing it is to be their mommy is one I don’t take for granted ever. They were each worth the years of heartache. Today is always an emotional one for me so today I say “Happy Mother’s Day” to all the moms - the first time moms, the seasoned ones, the mommy’s in waiting, the hurting ones, the grieving one wether that be from the loss of a mom or a loss of a baby/child, to the foster mamas, to the bonus moms to the adoptive mommy’s and the birth moms - I am thinking of you today and I hope you feel love and valued because you are!
  • As a mommy I find myself often times so proud to be the mommy of my little people. I remember being proud when they slept through the night or took their first steps. The older they get the more proud I am of them not necessarily when they simply accomplish a task or master a skill but when they make choices that show their true character. This girl had another gymnastics competition today and she was feeling all kinds of nerves but as she told her brother and sister “I just went out there and did it” and that she did. I was so proud of her not just for being brave or not just because she put lots of work into learning her skills and ended up placing in each event she competed in but because my 6 year old was awarded the sportsmanship trophy for the ages 7-9 in the competition. That to me as her mama made me cry and beam with pride. My girl out there with a positive attitude encouraging the other athletes and competing in a kind and fair manner that’s what it’s all about to this mama. I can take no credit for her awards or her trophy today she earned them all but I sure am proud and not afraid to say it. I love you #graylynnhope and I’m proud to be your mama not just today but everyday!
  • Easter behind us (already) May is coming and dare I say summer is on its way... I’m pretty sure end of school will be here literally before I know it and I’m ok with that but lots of exciting things in store for the next little while and these little people make it all worth it.
  • Monday’s mantra! (And everyday) If we all where a little kinder think how different the world would be! Kindness always wins!

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