I am not one to really make new years resolutions. I feel too much pressure to keep them and than disappointment and failure when I don’t succeed and frankly I don’t need those feelings of inadquency and failure in my life simply as a resolute of a silly resolution I make. Life is already hard enough like this post for instance has been in the works for about a week now but life has just been too busy! Kids just going stir crazy with this silly winter cold and rain weather, a baby who needs her mama 24/7 (yes at almost 18 months old she still behaves like a newborn needing her mama’s arms), a house to clean, bills to pay, meals to cook, clothes to wash/fold/putaway and some how keep myself from going crazy from all the craziness. I was all set in Decemeber to make myself some new goals for 2017 because I think its fun to make some goals and work towards them in 2017 and see how far you come but January 1 came and I was like “gosh darn it I don’t even know where to start…what DO I want to accomplish this year?” I started thinking and I just kept coming back to this feeling of so many dreams in my heart and mind but no energy to accomplish them. I than remember back to our struggle to get pregnant and have a family and how in those dark, lonely, scary days I couldn’t even find it in myself to do much but to try and find something to give me strength and for me the way I did that was by finding a word that gave me comfort and strength when I needed it. That word was HOPE and I think I have shared this before but that word became a life line for me and when I felt myself spiralling downward I just held onto hope. (There is a reason my oldests daughters middle name is Hope) So I thought to myself “Kate you don’t need to worry about making a list of dreams for 2017 why don’t you just find yourself a word”.  Finding a word is much simpler anyways …right? So I came up with the word Self- Grace! It’s a good one right?! Ok Ok so if you don’t know what self grace is let me try and explain. (I may have made the word up in my head) Self grace is the idea of letting yourself be YOU. It is allowing yourself to feel what you feel, and recognize what brought you to this point and truly believing whatever your going through is valid. I want this year to smother myself in self grace. I don’t fully know yet what that will look like but it will definitely mean making more time for myself, it will mean stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things, it will mean being ok with ordering pizza on the nights I don’t feel like cooking and being totally ok with that choice, it will mean letting myself go to bed early without finishing that last load of laundry or that half finished blog post. I think you get the idea… I encourage you mama’s out there to practice some self grace even today! It doesn’t come naturally to me I have totally become ok with putting myself and my needs last but I am realizing I need to make me a priority as well if I want to be a kick ass wife and a rock star mommy I gotta make sure Im in a good head space and emotionally spent and exhaustion lead to physical ailments so I need to keep practicing this self grace and I am excited for what it will do for me!

 

*Sorry if this was like major word vomit I just have been feeling a lot of weight on myself and felt like writing/typing it out might help me feel better about it*

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  • Change in weather today which I’m ok with gives me an excuse to pull my cozy sweater out although I’m not in any way ready for fall yet but I do think fall is my favorite season to dress for... anyone else?
  • Some days my whole “to do” list (cause yes I function off lists) gets thrown out the window the toys make there way everywhere throughout the house (and I cringe) and I have a million things I should be doing but but in all honesty the thing I need to do is just sit and be present with my babies and since this one is growing by the years it seems daily I’ll soak up my snuggles and moments like this with her cause really the “to do” list will always be there! #graylynnhope #mamasgirl #motherhood
  • My kids love to be outside! Anyone else’s kids like that? After a crazy last 6 days with having 2 extra little people and than end of the school and Canada Day celebrations we all need a little “space” today if you know what I mean so despite the rain we will go for our daily walk/bike ride and enjoy the warmth outside and I’ll tell myself this can count as their baths for tonight 🤣 (I’m totally kidding they love the water so even if I tried they wouldn’t miss bath time)
  • She loves all things girly would wear a dress daily if she could, lover of all lipsticks especially pink and purple, loves Disney princesses especially Belle and Rapunzel  and she loves diggers!  Couldn’t seem more opposite but she loves having these diggers in our backyard to watch them work she is hoping if she keeps waving and batting her long eyelashes at the drivers she’ll get a ride on one! #lyricbethanyspinks
  • After 10 days of celebrating your birthday festivities are officially over although we celebrate you every day! To hear you say  after your party with your friends and family that it was the best day ever melted my heart! June 13, 2012 will forever be the day that my life changed and my dream came true. You my girl are my miracle and I knew the day you were born that you were special but I of course was bias but this year I have had that validated by others. Graylynn there is no one like you - you are amazing, you are smart, kind, loving, you are a good friend an amazing big sister you are talented and athletic and most of all you are loved so much not just by daddy and me but even more by Jesus and I pray you always know that. To see my itty bitty baby the day she was born swipe and to see just how great of a big sister she is listen to her serenade her sister the day she was born (this video gets me every time) #graylynnhope
  • If you look real close under my arm you’ll see my “ankle weight” - sweet boy loves to be with me all the time and though the love between the two of us is mutual sometimes I feel like I’m being touched by someone all day every day- any mamas out there feel me?

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